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I’m a boymom. These are 5 things I teach my sons about being a man

Stephanie Lundquist-Arora is a mother in Fairfax County, Virginia, an author, and the chapter leader of Independent Women’s Network’s virtual chapter on Effective Engagement with K-12 Schools. This piece originally appeared in Fox News.


Without fear of cancelation or professional retribution, and in the wake of the left’s attempts to shame masculinity, it’s time to have a national conversation about what it means to be a man.

In our recent collective acknowledgment of biological reality and general return to common sense, we overwhelmingly agree that men should not win the Women of the Year award, enter women’s facilities, play women’s sports, or place in women’s beauty pageants. And in case anyone ever had a doubt, men cannot menstruate or become pregnant. What men cannot and should not do is abundantly clear, which begs the question, what should they do? Here’s what I tell my three sons:

1. Do the right thing 

In May 2024, we watched the media coverage as young men from Pi Kappa Phi protected the American flag at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill when lunatics tried to desecrate it. During those moments, I explained to my sons that those were real men who were protecting the flag, representing the principles that their father, uncle, grandfather, and great-grandfathers fought to uphold. Masculine men do the right thing, including making sacrifices for their country, even when doing so is unpopular and potentially dangerous.

Elon Musk Lifts Lid on Bureaucratic ‘Sinkhole’ in Federal Government

Stephanie Lundquist-Arora is a mother in Fairfax County, Virginia, an author, and the Fairfax chapter leader of Independent Women’s Network. This piece originally appeared in The Daily Signal.


When government bureaucrats talk about efficiency, the average person’s eyes generally glaze over, but not on Feb. 11 when from the Oval Office Elon Musk reported on the new Department of Government Efficiency’s early findings of waste, fraud, and abuse. Americans and reporters across the world sat on the edge of their seats as Musk discussed an old limestone mine in Pennsylvania.

During Musk’s press briefing, as his 4-year-old son lingered next to President Donald Trump, Musk explained the antiquated retirement processing system that is illustrative of our government’s many problems.

The federal government lacks an automated system to process its workers’ retirement paperwork. The paper processing system, which is housed in a former limestone mine located 230 feet underground and is operated by more than 700 workers, takes several months to process an individual’s paperwork and only has the capacity to handle 10,000 retirements per month.

Despite all of the Democrats’ tears regarding Musk’s work and DOGE’s efforts over the last several weeks, in 2014, The Washington Post itself—basically, the Left’s platform—labeled this retirement system “a sinkhole of bureaucracy.”

Indeed. And “a sinkhole of bureaucracy” is such a fitting phrase to describe much of our government’s functions and spending. The Government Accountability Office has known this since its inception, given that its mission is to save taxpayers’ money by finding fraud, waste, and abuse. But average people outside of the Washington beltway don’t know much if anything about the GAO.

Perhaps The New York Times also is unfamiliar with the GAO. This week, the outlet published an article questioning DOGE’s claims of fraud. In a responsive memo to the press corps, the White House referred them to a GAO report from last year, which states, “No area of the federal government is immune to fraud.”

DOGE is providing transparency and proving the GAO’s assertion. The department has launched a website detailing its latest work. On Feb. 10, for example, DOGE announced that it had canceled 89 contracts worth $881 million. Among them was one worth $1.5 million for which the contractor was paid to “observe mailing and clerical operations at a mail center.”

Americans didn’t know we could collect $1.5 million for sitting around and watching people mail things. That didn’t factor into our career day presentations in grade school because it shouldn’t be a real job, particularly not one funded with taxpayers’ money.

As DOGE uncovers and exposes more of these absurdities in federal spending, Trump is sailing on high approval ratings. Meanwhile, residents in Washington, D.C., and its surrounding areas, such as Fairfax County, Virginia, and Montgomery County, Maryland, are in an absolute panic.

Many are federal employees or federal contractors. Some are understandably worried because of job security for themselves or their spouses. Others, as seen on social media platforms, are literally seeking therapy because they now have to show up for work after the president rescinded most COVID-19-era telecommuting or because they are losing promotion opportunities that previously were mostly based on them checking identity boxes.

A federal worker friend shared with me that in a return-to-work meeting at her agency, her colleague demanded a rental car from the General Services Administration because of that person’s anticipated commute. That federal worker should check in with DOGE on that request. I’d love to see the response.

While federal workers lament over their dreaded commutes, Americans outside the Beltway are applauding DOGE. They are sick of many federal workers’ sense of entitlement. It is foreign to the plumber, flight attendant, police officer, salesperson, garbage collector, restaurant worker, mechanic, house cleaner, truck driver, and many other hardworking Americans how collecting a large salary while working from home at the taxpayers’ expense is somehow a permanent entitlement. What an absolute joke.

And while most of those Americans likely were not reading GAO reports or watching congressional budget hearings in the past, they are eating popcorn and following DOGE on X. Against all odds, Trump and Musk have made the incredibly boring topic of government efficiency somehow seem sexy and exciting.

‘It Doesn’t Happen Often’ Is Not a Reasonable Defense for Men in Women’s Sports

Stephanie Lundquist-Arora is a mother in Fairfax County, Virginia, an author, and the Fairfax chapter leader of Independent Women’s Network. This piece originally appeared in The Daily Signal.


Americans are gaining ground in the fight to protect women’s sports.

This week, for example, the Department of Education sent a letter to the National Collegiate Athletic Association and the National Federation of State High School Associations, urging them to restore female athletes’ records. The demand comes on the heels of President Donald Trump’s executive orders to protect women’s sports and to restore biological truth to the federal government. 

Also this week, the Virginia High School League, an athletic organization governing high school athletics in Virginia, changed its policy with regard to males in women’s sports to align with President Donald Trump’s executive order.

Meanwhile, the Minnesota State High School League and the California Interscholastic Federation did not change their policies, which continue to allow males in women’s sports. Consequently, the Department of Education announced on Feb. 12 that it is launching an investigation into these two athletic organizations for Title IX violations. 

It’s about time. 

As many Americans have noted, it’s absurd that President Trump would need to issue such an obvious executive order stating that men do not belong in women’s sports. Not long ago, though, a tyrannical minority had remarkable success in compelling our speech with mandated pronouns, in allowing males to participate in women’s sports and in allowing males to roam freely in women’s bathrooms and locker rooms. Those policies remain in place in many liberal public school districts and universities across the nation.

Under the Biden administration, Americans were afraid to speak out against the transgender mob for fear of losing their jobs or being “cancelled.” We found ourselves in an unprecedented and confusing situation in which truthful statements such as “Women don’t have penises” or “Men can’t get pregnant,” were labeled by a miniscule fraction of the population as “unkind” or even “hate speech.” 

The tides have turned as people questioning the madness have found their voices through safety in numbers. Americans are collectively asking why we have been forsaking the rights, privacy, and safety of women for transgender-identifying males. It has become increasingly clear to the public, in case it was not before, that the so-called “rights” of a small group have come at the expense of another much larger group. Not surprisingly, the Left is crying foul over America’s return to commonsense regarding biological sex.

So, in response, the Left, likely noticing the public’s fatigue at its antics, has shifted its argument. Leftists say that since male participation in women’s sports doesn’t happen often, it’s not a big deal. Billy Haun, for example, the executive director of VHSL, said that from October 2020 to December 2024, 31 male students in Virginia’s high schools filed appeals to be on women’s teams and 28 were approved.

Transgender activist Shannon McKay, who is the executive director and co-founder of He She Ze and We, then argued, “It’s such a small number who want to play. So, to deny this for an entire community of people, the messaging is clear that the outside world wants them to think they don’t belong.”

The “there’s just a few so let’s allow it” logic reminds me of Vice President JD Vance’s appearance on ABC News in October 2024. During the interview with Martha Raddatz, the news correspondent had a puzzling rebuttal to Vance’s concerns about the Venezuelan Tren de Aragua crime syndicate’s activities in Aurora, Colorado. She said, “The incidents were limited to a handful of apartment complexes.”

Martha, do you hear yourself? … A few apartment complexes, no big deal,” retorted Vance sarcastically.

To McKay and all the other transgender activists pursuing the annihilation of women’s rights on similar grounds, I also say, “Do you hear yourself? Just because only a small number do it, that doesn’t make it acceptable.”

It’s time to restore female athletes’ records, protect women’s sports from male participants, keep women’s private spaces female, and fight for free speech. We mustn’t forget this shameful chapter in our nation’s history during which the government violated free speech rights and women’s rights for the sake of an extremely loud and unreasonable tyrannical minority.  

Virginia’s Largest District Currently Favors ‘Equity’ Over Merit

Ms. Lundquist-Arora is a Fairfax parent and leads the county’s Independent Women’s Network chapter.


Fairfax County resident Stephanie Lundquist-Arora sent the following open letter to Superintendent Michelle Reid on January 24, 2025:

Dr. Reid,

On January 21, President Donald Trump signed an executive order titled, “Ending Illegal Discrimination and Restoring Merit-Based Opportunity.” The associated guidance that the U.S. Attorney General and Secretary of Education are tasked to issue within 120 days of the order will require educational agencies receiving federal funding, including Fairfax County Public Schools, to align their policies to uphold merit-based standards and eliminate “illegal DEI and DEIA policies.”

As a concerned parent and citizen, I have a few questions about how you intend to align our school district’s policies with this executive order.

  • Do you intend to eliminate DEI-focused administrative positions, departments, and policies in the district’s headquarters at Gatehouse and in the schools themselves? In fiscal 2025, for example, the budgetary allocation for the Office of Experience and Engagement and the Office of the Chief Equity Officer, both heavily engaged in DEI initiatives, totaled $13.8 million.
  • Meanwhile, there is also an “Equity Lead” staff officer and multiple “Student Equity Ambassador Leaders (SEALS)” in each school. Will those programs and related positions also be eliminated?
  • The district’s strategic plan centralizes and prioritizes “equity” and “equal outcomes.” In order to comply with the executive order, does district leadership have plans to redraft a strategic plan that prioritizes merit?
  • In order to prioritize merit rather than equity, will the district return to the merit-based admissions system for our magnet school, Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology?
  • Will the district change its policy on equity grading which was intended to reduce student gaps and eliminate class rank?
  • Will the district revise its code of conduct to remove clauses specifying the consideration of students’ demographics in the consideration of offenses?
  • Will district leadership reconsider its equity-based restorative justice system and return to traditional punitive measures to reduce student violence and misbehaviors in schools?

Thanks for your time and consideration. I look forward to working with the district leadership to make sure that our local public schools are in line with national directives. Together, all things are possible.

Sincerely,

Stephanie Lundquist-Arora

Hayfield football scandal exposes incompetence of superintendent

Stephanie Lundquist-Arora is a mother in Fairfax County, Virginia, an author, and the Fairfax chapter leader of the Independent Women’s Network. This piece originally appeared in The Washington Times.


The Hayfield Secondary School football recruiting scandal has shown us that there is absolutely no oversight of Michelle Reid, superintendent of the Fairfax County School Board in Virginia, from our elected school board members, the county’s Board of Supervisors or the internal auditor general.

It has also highlighted that Ms. Reid is either incompetent or ill-intended. Addressing Hayfield’s mass recruiting violation was a test of Ms. Reid’s leadership, and she failed.

What began as a local injustice regarding fairness in high school sports has echoed in warning nationwide. The scandal is not just about school athletics; it’s about poor district leadership.

After school administrators hired coach Darryl Overton this past January, 31 students transferred to Hayfield Secondary School in time for football season. Many of them were Mr. Overton’s former players from across county lines. Hayfield students, parents and staff posed questions about the many student-athlete transfers to their school. Such a significant number of talented football players transferring to one public school within months of one another is undoubtedly suspicious.

Fairfax County residents looked to the district’s senior leaders to investigate the matter. Ms. Reid announced that the district would conduct an internal investigation in early May.

Two months later, when Ms. Reid’s internal “confidential investigation” regarding residency checks was still ongoing and summer training had already begun, other high school football coaches drafted a letter to raise their concerns about fairness in Hayfield’s recruiting process.

At the end of August, mere days before the season opener against West Springfield High School, Ms. Reid announced that her investigation had cleared Mr. Overton and school district administrators of wrongdoing.

One school board member, Mateo Dunne, didn’t buy it.

A significant reason for the mass exodus of minorities from the Democratic Party

Stephanie Lundquist-Arora is a contributor for the Washington Examiner, a mother in Fairfax County, Virginia, an author, and the Fairfax chapter leader of the Independent Women’s Network. This piece originally appeared in the Washington Examiner.


Last week, Maryland’s Democratic Party had a meltdown and started gaslighting the public about so-called “extremist” school board candidates running for office across the state, whom they allege want to push a political agenda.

And really, how dare school board candidates want to focus on reading proficiency, student test scores, and the budget instead of integrating the gender unicorn in kindergarten education?

For years, school boards with Democrat-endorsed majorities in Maryland have been working overtime to promote “Rainbow Clubs” in elementary schools, allow shared-sex locker rooms and bathrooms, and compel speech by mandating preferred pronouns.

But apparently, such politicization of public education does not meet the metric for “extremism” among the Maryland Democrats or, for that matter, the national Democratic Party under Vice President Kamala Harris and Gov. Tim Walz (D-MN). Rather, Democrats embrace and endorse it because it is their own brand of extremism.  

With a mostly oblivious public, Democrat-endorsed school board members across the country have succeeded in pushing the Harris-Walz leftist extremism in our public schools. Now, however, the Democratic Party leadership fears roadblocks to their leftist agenda in public education as voters become increasingly aware of their local political landscapes.

Minority voters, in particular, are pushing back on the Left’s agenda. There’s a reason the effort to sexualize and indoctrinate our nation’s young children in their taxpayer-funded schools has a mostly white face. Minority parents overwhelmingly disagree with radical gender ideology being taught in schools. The Pew Research Center’s opinion polling, conducted in April, shows that 70% of black respondents and 62% of Hispanic respondents say that “gender” is determined by sex at birth.

The lack of enthusiasm among minority parents for the transgender indoctrination of their children in public schools is one of many reasons that black and Latino voters are leaving the Democratic Party in droves.

On June 6, 2023, for example, the racial divide on this topic was abundantly clear at a rally against the LGBT indoctrination of students in Montgomery County’s public schools. Video footage shows mostly minority parents advocating religious freedom and the right to opt-out their children from LGBT lessons in public schools. They held signs that said “Protect our Children” and “Restore Opt-Out Now.”

Meanwhile, the rainbow-clad alphabet people demanding the ideological indoctrination of Montgomery County’s children were almost all white.

It is telling about the state of Maryland’s Democratic leadership that they label the side rallying for religious freedom and opt-out options as “the extremists.”  

Brenda Diaz is one of Montgomery County’s candidates in the November election who intends to fight for religious freedom in local public schools. Maryland Democrats laughably have labeled Diaz as an “extremist,” and they are paying canvassers to campaign against her. Her website, however, specifies that her priorities include “championing academic excellence, focusing on restoring safety, empowering students, families, and teachers, and ensuring responsible resource allocation through diligent oversight of our schools.”

What likely bothers Maryland’s leftists the most is that Diaz expresses the following sentiment on her campaign website: “[W]e will respect the inherent right of parents to guide their children’s moral compass and cultural beliefs.”

Maryland’s Democratic leaders have the right to spend money any way they see fit, but they should at least be honest about why they are putting it toward these local school board races. Like Harris and Walz, they believe that the government, not parents, should be responsible for the moral and cultural upbringing of children. And their money is used to fund candidates who will institutionalize this notion in America’s public schools.